Repede Limit #4 – funfuzion @ New Roc City, NY

An angry Mach review as of April 30th, 2009.

As everyone who knows me knows, I’m an avid video game player. I like heading to new arcades to take in the scenery of the new area as well as possibly try some games that aren’t available in my area and stuff. It’s kind of fun like that, right?

I don’t normally do reviews on arcades, since I don’t really travel to arcades other than the two I main at all that often, but this place… I couldn’t help but NOT talk about it.

You know… I never thought it was possible for me to rage at an arcade, but my experience yesterday totally reinforced this conversation I had with Hojo the other day. I’m a sucker for going to new arcades and playing a different selection of games that’s different than the arcades I go to. My friends and I ended up going to funfuzion in New Roc City, NY, Not too much further from New York City. So why would we take the hour drive from Jersey to go to this arcade here in New York?

DJMAX Technika... What a fun game... And curse you cell phone cameras.

DJMAX Technika… Although 8 on the Break (one of the two arcades I main at) has this machine already, this place picked one up as well. Plus, on Wednesdays, they have this “Wacky Wednesday” deal that provides unlimited gaming for four hours as well as unlimited pizza at their cafe and unlimited Lazer Tag.

Intriguing, am I right? When my friends and I walked in, it looked to be a really promising arcade.

GET FUZED WITH THE FUN. YEAH! BEACUSE EVERYONE KNOWS SPELLING SHIT WITH ODD LETTERS MAKES EVERYTHING TEN TIME COOLER.

This is the first image you see on their website. This place prides itself on having an amazing arcade as well as being able to provide unlimited gaming on any games that aren’t ticket redemption games. It was intriguing to me and my friends as well, but oh man… This was only a set up for disaster.

This seems to be an accurate depiction of what I thought of this place later on.

This seems to be an accurate depiction of what I thought of this place later on.

Seriously, it was only moments after we bought our unlimited card that everything went downhill from there. If you looked at the .PDF I linked earlier to the Wacky Wednesday deal, nowhere does it outline that any games are restricted from this deal. I was the first to purchase my card, so I darted straight over to the Technika machine to work on my card… ONLY to be stopped by the card not working. My friend, after he had gotten his card as well, tried the Guitar Hero Arcade machine only to find it didn’t work there as well. Same with the Tekken 6 machine. So what gives?

We complained to the management about this situation. They probably never experienced something like this before, because you know with corporate arcades, NO ONE ever complains. These mindless patrons who wander in there to play some poorly maintained video games would never think that this arcade actually sucks, it’s supposed to be FUN. They claim that these particular games are new, so as to prevent customers from abusing the system (and potentially make them lose money on Wednesdays), these unlimited cards don’t work. We made battered them with complaints about how they mis-advertised and they weren’t holding up their end of the deal.

We came there to play Technika and they refused to give us our refunds. So stuck here, we decided to just drop the deal and spend $20 at this lousy, fucking arcade. So a couple of games of Technika here and there and I tested out the rest of their music game selection as well, since they had a bunch of them there. But I had to keep in mine, corporate arcade. You could only imagine how much faster it would’ve crashed to the ground from there…

In The Groove 2 and DDR EXTREME.

In The Groove 2 and DDR EXTREME.

Oh god, where do I even begin with these machines. Oh! Right, here:

r8? I never knew machines still existed like this anywhere in the US.

r8? I never knew machines still existed like this anywhere in the US.

The only reason I could derive this was even an r8 machine was because the first song I played was Xuxa. r8 fixes the sync problems in that song. The pads were in “stellar” condition as to the first player side, the down arrow didn’t even work and the second player side, the up arrow misfired like a sterile male.

Ugh…

Now for the EXTREME machine.

That lit up arrow? It brightens up for quality!

That lit up arrow? It brightens up for quality!

Oh god… If the right arrow on the first player side constantly dropped shit for me to the point where it doesn’t even work half the time. I didn’t even wanna bother with the second player side because that down arrow just screams “THE PADS WORK. PLAY ME. PLAY ME NOW!” And look at those brackets! Some of them are missing! This machine is so hardcore that you don’t even need them there to play on the horribly recessed arrows!

SuperNOVA2 and Pump it Up Pro

SuperNOVA2 and Pump it Up Pro

These two machines actually gave me a sliver of hope for this place. The Pump Pro machine seemed to be in good condition, and the SuperNOVA2 machine worked for the most part aside from a couple of dropped arrows on the 2P side, but a huge downer to all their SuperNOVA2 and EXTREME machines?

NOTHING was unlocked. That’s just a bad sign already. And c’mon, what machine anywhere doesn’t have an EXTREME fully unlocked yet? Oh wait, here.


They also had a PIU Zero machine as well. Shitty screen. I’ll keep it at that. SEE YOU AT THE PUMP WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP IN 2006!!

The Tekken 6 machine… Just a regular old Tekken 6 machine. A plus was the nice cabinet it was in… As I played, I was wondering why the hell my card wouldn’t work. Then I remembered…

“Shit, my card is a Tekken 6: Bloodline Rebellion card.

Oh well. Nice cabinet, controls work well.

So for such lackluster quality, they’d probably only charge you a dollar, right? WRONG. Almost all the music games here were $2 a game. This place makes me laugh. $2 for a SuperNOVA2 and EXTREME machine with nothing unlocked? $2 for an ITG2 upgradicab with r8 and a really shitty screen? $2 for a PIU Zero machine with a screen you could barely see?

nothankyou.jpg

nothankyou.jpg

The only kind of maintenance I could even see being done on this machine would be the windex that would glide across the screen making sure people could see. WINDEX DOES NOT KEEP A MACHINE IN GOOD CONDITION. Seriously, these employees were more willing to fix the chair on those shitty roller coaster simulators than repair a possible good investment on a machine that could’ve potentially made them a lot of money. But you know, corporate arcade, they don’t really give a shit. People will still come to the arcade anyway for their overpriced birthday parties.

I could honestly say the only plus about this day was the best music game they had in this whole arcade was 50c cheaper than all the other shitty music games that charged more, but that’s not saying much. Technika at 8 on the Break is only $1. Here at funfuzion, it’s $1.50. Only reason I spent so much was because I was forced to spend it.

Unless you’re a mindless fucking dolt, who would make this their main arcade and pay for over priced everything on the machine, be my guest, but going here made me appreciate independently owned arcades just a little bit more. At least at those kinds of arcades, they care more about customer input and strive to maintain excellence as well… These corporate arcades could careless about maintainence because they know people are going to come regardless. Keeping them in working condition and actually having employees that know what they’re doing are a rarity.

Was about to give this place a D as a final grade, but this place doesn’t deserve my sympathy.


I’ve seen better corporate arcades than this.
Even the smaller, more well known ones maintain their shit better.
Avoid this place at all costs. It might denote a review if Technika ever falls
under the “Wacky Wednesday” deal, but I doubt that will be any time soon.
Don’t fall for their misleading advertising.
Don’t make the same mistake my friends and I did.

Advertisements

11 Responses to “Repede Limit #4 – funfuzion @ New Roc City, NY”

  1. this is a wonderful arcade. you should have given them the phan-tastic EEE grade that it deserves.

  2. Sounds like shit. Maybe a reason why arcades are nearly extinct in the US?

  3. That’s a damn shame. If they actually took care of their shit and didn’t charge ridiculous prices, that arcade might have actually been a cool place (even with eww upgrades and eww pads). Thanks for warding me off from this arcade, on the very off chance I would have come across it.

  4. […] with us on Wednesday wrote up a great review that sums up our experience there quite nicely. Link: Repede Limit #4 – funfuzion @ New Roc City, NY __________________ ITG R21 […]

  5. gnawingtreebark Says:

    Two US dollars a game? That’s… just silly. The only arcade I’ve really visited is the one in Metrotown mall, which is very warm and very cramped, usually packed so tightly with unwashed people that it’s hard to get to the machines. But even so, it sounds a hell of a lot better than that place. Nothing over a dollar Canadian, either.

    • But you have to keep in mind. These are corporate arcades in New York.

      New York is the king of over pricing crap.

  6. I don’t know what you consider “corporate,” but as far as I know, these folks only have one location.

    But yeah…this place has been terrible for years. They have a great selection but don’t take care of their machines and don’t know what to charge for their games.

    I could–from memory–start writing down a list of all of their messed up machines and what’s wrong with them. They’re also the only place I know of with *multiple* sets of NON-LINKED 2-player racing games.

    BTW, Tekken 6 there was $3 per credit when they first got it…

    • They have the same style as any other huge franchise out there. Which is why I classified them as the “corporate” type of arcade. Most corporate arcade could care less about their games as far as I’m concerned. As long as people come to play whatever games they have available, they have little to worry about.

  7. WanderingMind Says:

    I’ve been to a number of arcades, but they were nowhere as bad as Funfuzion. $2 a game is a rip off.

  8. Not all ITG2 upgrades are bad. Beach Gameland in Florida.

    Actually, the place is a lot better, last I went there the staff was better than I hadever seen them and the machines always had one pad that worked well.

    Full review of how it is as of last Friday:

    http://www.ddrfreak.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=134277

  9. To be honest, New Roc City HAS improved over time. The old Extreme is gone, replaced with a much better one. SN2 has more songs unlocked, PIU Pro has a Joint Premium system that allows 2 players for 1 credit. There’s also a Stepmania (With a NewNova theme) 3.95 machine that was added not too long ago. It’s there because Bemanistyle chose New Roc City as it’s test location for some of it’s simfiles. It’s actually a pretty good machine, with almost every single DDR song from 1st Mix-SN2. It even has ITG 1 & 2, with some bonus charts on some songs. It’s probably a wiser decision to play ITG songs on this machine, as opposed to the gradually declining ITG2 machine, which isn’t going to become an Andamiro R21 Dedicab anytime soon (unless some people who are good at hacking ITG machines from NJ, PA, and other places out west could at least come here to NY and do something about it). Of course, I’m still confused as to why they bought a DDR Megamix machine, when an Extreme already exists, if they could’ve just used their money to get a better ITG2 machine. There’s only 2 employees I know there who even know A THING about the ITG2 machine, and takes into consideration the idea of getting a better ITG2 cabinet entirely.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: